Damaged Goods
by Quickbeam10
Summary: Jonathan struggles in the aftermath of his confrontation with Alfred to come to terms with the abuse he suffered as a child. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: This story is being written for enjoyment only. I do not own any of the characters and no profit is being made from it.**

Damaged Goods- Chapter One

A_/N- This story picks up at the end of Alfred/Nate's confrontation with Reva and Jonathan (though the GL version has yet to air) and goes on to explain Jonathan's continuing struggle to deal with the long term effects of his father's abuse upon him._

His first conscious thought was that his head hurt. Not the dull ache that usually accompanied the start of a nagging headache or a hangover, but a sudden onrush of pain that began at the base of his skull and radiated forward. Lifting his hand upward to cradle his aching head, he heard a weak moan, not realizing it was his own. Wincing he squeezed his eyelids shut in defense to the increasing throb that kept in time with the rapid heartbeat within his chest. Then suddenly he coughed, a harsh, racking cough, as his lungs exploded in pain, reawakening the fire that burned within his chest and causing him to double over in agony upon the gurney he was stretched out upon. The rancid heat of bile filled his throat only to be followed by the God awful taste of briny phlegm which left his contracting lungs. He tried to control its rise, but his weakened body would not cooperate as his mouth flew open to expell this violent assault, which washed over him.

Luckily, someone had been aware of his present distress as a plastic emesis basin was unceremoniously thrust beneath his mouth to contain the traitorous heaving affecting him. A disembodied hand seemed to hold him upright, supporting his powerless body until the last of this painful retching and coughing, affecting him, subsided. Then he was settled back upon the gurney, while a cool cloth wiped his face clean of any remnants left over from this sudden bout with sickness. Its initial dampness felt welcoming, as it brushed against his ailing flesh, reminding him of a time, long ago, when Marissa had comforted him likewise. He had been suffering from a severe bout of stomach flu, and she had remained by his side, nursing him into the long hours of the night, even though Alfred had accused her of coddling her young son.

"Mom?" He cried out longingly, though his effort at speech came out as little more than a harsh whisper.

"No, Jonathan, " A worried voice answered him. "Aunt Reva is with the police."

Police?" He questioned bewilderedly as he began to struggle upwards.

"Yes, she and Uncle Josh needed to answer a few questions. They'll be back soon. Now please just lie back and relax. Let the EMT's help you." The sweet natured voice responded as it cracked with emotion.

_'Police?__ Josh? Reva?'_ His sluggish brain whirled as he tried to process these vital pieces of information the familiar voice had given him. _'Where was he? What had happened? Why did he feel so damn awful? Had there been an accident? Had he had too much to drink? He remembered being in a car…the glaring headlights of a truck as it bore down upon him…but then no more…" _

"Argh!" He moaned as his forced remembrances came to an abrupt halt with the returning onslaught of pain.

"Jonathan?" The now panicked voice rose in alarm before turning to direct the force of its concern in another direction. "Do something! Please! He's in pain!"

"If you could just step back, Miss Winslow, so we can start another IV and insert this oxygen canula to aid his breathing. Unfortunately we can't use a mask since your young friend here is still bringing up the water in his lungs and stomach. We won't be able to administer any pain meds either until the hospital clears him of any head trauma."

"But he will be alright?" The young blonde questioned anxiously.

"We're doing all we can for him." One of the paramedic's answered brusquely as he moved her aside to resume his treatment of his young patient.

Jonathan's confusion turned to panic as he felt the biting sting of something sharp cut into his arm. He drew back reflexively before lunging forward as if to escape from this perceived threat of pain.

"He's becoming combative." A terse voice above him shouted as a stronger weight than his own bore him back down against the gurney beneath him in an attempt to stop his rising struggle. The sudden forcefulness pressing him backwards towards the portable cot brought back to him the fuzzy remembrance of the sodden, grey t-shirt, he had been wearing this day, which now clung to his clammy flesh, while the equally dark tendrils, which covered his damp head, adhered to his skull from both the effects of the water, he was pulled from, and the blood streaming from the head wound he had sustained before plunging into the water. He arched against the pillow beneath him in continued defiance.

"Relax, Jonathan, Relax!" The commanding voice above him instructed. "You're only going to hurt yourself further. You've been injured in a boating accident. We're doing our best to offer you assistance, but you can't fight us."

"Please stop it! You're hurting him!" The female voice beside him cut in frantically.

"We're doing the best we can, miss. Now please step back! You're only getting in the way."

"Jonathan?" The frightened voice cried out.

"Tammy?" Jonathan choked in response as another violent bout of coughing set in and the swirling world about him began to blur even further as images of a boat taking off from a pier, the frightened face of his birth mother, and the malicious sneer of his adoptive father swam in and out of his consciousness. And then there was pain, and the splash of water and he was sinking, sinking, sinking deep beneath the murky depths of the lake surrounding him. The coldness of its water seized hold of his body. He struggled to get back up to the surface, but his body refused to cooperate. His arms and legs would not move. They seemed captive to the raging pain which flared throughout his body. The darkening waters about him were now tinged red as well from the blood flowing from his injured body as he sunk even further beneath its suffocating depths. He tried to hold on. He tried to help himself, but he was paralyzed, though this time not by fear.

It was as if his body was no longer his own. It was betraying him. Until finally he could hold his breath no longer and his mouth burst open instinctively to draw in air to his oxygen starved lungs. Instead they filled with the brackish water from lake engulfing him. Slowly his shocked eyes began to drift close in reaction to this unwelcome assault upon his senses, while his heart fought frantically to sustain his failing body and an eerie buzzing filled his head. The stunted movements of his leaden arms and legs gave up their ineffective struggle as his body at last began to rise towards the surface. His last shreds of consciousness were abandoning him along with the heavy burdens that had so long held him captive as his torso drew level with his head and his body moved into the position of a dead man's float. He was free at last as his troubled spirit sought its final escape from the tormented prison of its human confines . His last fleeting thoughts were not directed towards his own imminent death, but towards those whom he'd be leaving behind.

_'What was it that Alfred had said earlier? That he would dump his useless son in the middle of this lake and his decomposed body would wash up upon its shores? He had taunted Jonathan even in the end that no one would give a damn when it did. They'd all say good riddance to the long troublesome menace. Yes, Alfred had finally succeeded in doing what all the others in Springfield had been unable to accomplish…almost from the time he had first come to this town…to be rid of him for good. _

_Alfred had always threatened him with this over the long years of their acquaintance as father and son. He had told him that one day he would kill him. It had long been his slated fate to die at his father's hands, and today was the day that Alfred had chosen to succeed in carrying out this long held threat. Perhaps this was for the best, for no one would miss him. No one would grieve his death or make note of his departure, though it frightened him as to what would become of the others now that he would no longer be able to protect them from Alfred's evil ways. He had grown to love them, though he had fought tooth and nail against it…He had come to love Tammy and Reva, and even grudgingly Josh, though his love had gone unreciprocated by all…_

_'No, God, no! Please stop Alfred before he harms anyone else! Perhaps his death would be enough to appease his father's thirst for violence. Perhaps his father would at last be satisfied and take the money he had stolen for him from Reva and Josh and leave __Springfield__ for good. Perhaps the God, whom he believed had long ago abandoned him to this miserable existence, would at last be satisfied with his life alone. "Stop him, please!" His failing brain struggled to shout out. "I'm going to die, but please don't let him bring harm to anyone else! Let it be me alone, for my life has never amounted to anything… I am worthless… I am nothing ..."_

"Jonathan?" Tammy's voice called out again.

"His b.p. is dropping!" The paramedic working over him called out to his partner in sudden alarm.

"Jonathan!" Tammy cried out once more as she ignored the EMT's earlier warnings and rushed forward to grasp hold of Jonathan's cold hands. "Jonathan, please," She pleaded towards the now barely conscious man. "Hold on! Hold on to me!"

TBC...

Author's Closing Notes... I would appreciate if you let me know what you think of this story, and if I should continue with it. Thank you:)


	2. Damaged Goods Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: This story is being written for enjoyment only. I don't own any of the characters.**

**A/N- Thank you to all who read and reviewed chapter one. I hope you enjoy chapter 2 as well. Once again, this is AU though I'm trying to stay as close as I can to GL's ongoing storyline. :)**

_"Jonathan?" Tammy's voice rang out._

_"His b.p. is dropping!" The paramedic working over him called out to his partner in sudden alarm._

_"Jonathan!" Tammy cried out once more as she ignored the EMT's earlier warnings and rushed forward to grasp hold of Jonathan's cold hands. "Jonathan, please," She pleaded towards the now barely conscious man. "Hold on! Hold on to me!"_

_MWMWMWMW_

Damaged Good Chapter 2

Following Tammy's frantic command to 'hold on' seemed an easy enough task to do, but Jonathan's beaten down body refused to cooperate. His last conscious memory was of the EMS team moving over him in increased urgency, while somehow a blessed warmth took hold of his chilled extremities. He tried to express his gratitude for this small gesture to ease the coldness which had permeated his flesh and ask the men working above him to increase the effects of whatever medication they had just administered so that its lingering touch would spread throughout his whole shivering body not just his hands, but he could not find the strength to form the words. Instead he felt his body begin to give way to the somatic call hearkening out to him, no longer afraid of the threat of its enveloping darkness. It could not harm him anymore, and at last he gave himself up to it, letting go of the pain and the emptiness that had so long been his sole companions in life.

_MWMWMWMW_

The frightening world he awoke to wasn't quite as comforting. The discordant whirl and hum of the emergency room's life saving technology at work around him greeted his return to consciousness. At first he was blinded by the bright lights above him. His eyelids fluttered rapidly against their harsh glare as his sluggish pupils tried to adjust to the room's brilliant illumination. He heard a disembodied voice beside him speak out.

"He's coming to, doctor."

As he tried to focus on its owner, a myriad of tubes and blinking machinery met his bleary-eyed stare while a frenetic beeping sounded in the background behind him.

"Welcome back, Jonathan." A still muzzy form greeted him from above until the form of a doctor with brown curly hair, somewhere in his late 30's or early 40's solidified before him.

Jonathan tried to respond to him only to choke upon a tube now positioned in his throat. Startled, his heartbeat sped up rapidly to match his increased fright as his hand shot frantically forward to remove the tubing which invaded his body. But a hand quicker than his own blocked his terrified attempt as the doctor explained calmly.

"You have a breathing tube, Jonathan. Your breathing became compromised while you were still out on the dock. The paramedics had to intubate you before bringing you in to Cedars. We've managed through drug therapy to get your blood pressure and breathing stabilized. We didn't want to remove the breathing tube, however, until you regained consciousness in case any unforeseen complications arose. But now that you are awake, I can take it out. I need you to relax and listen to me first though, so you can follow my directions. Do you understand?"

Jonathan nodded in reply as he sank back in relief against the ER gurney he now lay upon.

"Good," The dark-haired doctor responded before going on further. "When I tell you, I'll need you to take a deep breath then exhale. The nurse and I will do the rest. Understood?"

Jonathan only nodded again.

"Okay then, deep breath, now cough…"

Jonathan tried to comply to the best of his ability but only managed a strangled cough then wheezing intake of breath followed by a painful bout with gagging."

The older blonde haired nurse, working with the doctor, was immediately beside him helping him to support him until this episode was over then guided him back towards the gurney so he could relax as she wiped away the remnants left from the procedure from his pale face.

"Good, Jonathan, try to relax now.…" The doctor encouraged, as he placed the ear pieces of the stethoscope, hanging about his neck, back into his ears before moving to place the other end against Jonathan's chest so he could listen to his patient's heart and breath sounds.

Jonathan couldn't control his shiver of reaction as the cold metal met with his flesh.

"Sorry," The doctor spoke out apologetically before moving the offending bulb towards his palm to warm it slightly before returning it towards the young man's chest. "You'd think with all my years of medical school and residency behind me, I'd remember such a simple procedure." He smiled before instructing his young patient to relax once again while he continued listening. The doctor's pleasant face remained unchanging throughout his examination though the early easiness that had filled his blue eyes was now replaced by a deep thoughtfulness as he noted the unusual rales still present in this near drowning victim's lungs. Finishing up, he turned to make a notation upon the chart behind him while the nurse moved forward to reposition a warming blanket around her chilled patient. Jonathan smiled his appreciation.

Turning back again towards his patient, the doctor smiled once more as he tried to put the young man at ease before asking. "Can you tell me your name?"

Jonathan thought his question rather odd especially since the doctor had already used his given name but instead of voicing his confusion, he tried to answer.

"Jonathan…Jonathan Randall…" He whispered harshly surprised by how raspy his voice sounded as he reached towards his throat for a second time while wincing in pain.

The nurse beside him, however, checked his movements this time by catching his hands and moving them back beneath the blanket she had tucked around him short seconds before while the doctor explained. "It's just the lingering effects from the intubation and also your swallowing all that lake water tonight. The pain should subside in a few hours. Are you okay to go on? I have a few more questions I'd like to ask you."

Swallowing hard, Jonathan only nodded.

"Good then." The doctor responded. "Can you tell me what day it is, Jonathan?"

Hesitating only slightly, Jonathan replied in a stupefied whisper. "August 15th."

"And the year?"

"2005…"

"And do you know where you are?"

"I'm assuming the hospital…" The young man rasped unable to disguise his growing displeasure with this asinine line of questioning. "Look doc, aren't they paying you enough here to know this stuff, or have they assigned me some flunky? 'Cause it worries me that you don't know the answers to these simple questions..." Jonathan finished before swallowing once again against the burning pain within his throat.

The doctor laughed lightly at the young man's caustic response before noticing his patient's increasing discomfort. "That will be it with the questioning for now. We'll get you some ice chips to suck on soon, Jonathan. That will ease your current discomfort somewhat. We can't give you anything more to eat or drink however until we rule out any major head trauma. You sustained a head wound along with nearly drowning earlier tonight." The doctor went on to explain. " The questions I just asked you were a simple check to ascertain the present condition of your cognitive functions."

"Say what?" Jonathan retorted, now even more confused than before by this doctor's mumbo jumbo before asking, "Did I pass?"

"Yes, with flying colors."

"Good, then when can I get out of here?" The young man remarked flippantly as he struggled towards a sitting position with the intention of next standing up. Both the doctor and nurse attending him however moved faster and were able without much of a struggle to check the young man's inadvisable progress, pressing him back towards the bed he was laying on while immeasurable pain coursed throughout his body letting him know as well the foolishness of his prior actions.

"Not so fast, Jonathan!" The doctor responded adamantly letting his wayward patient know he wouldn't allow for any compromise with his decision. Then continuing gravely he went on. "You're still a very sick, young man. You nearly drowned tonight. You not only swallowed a lot of lake water, but some was aspirated into your lungs. Not to mention that you sustained a very deep head lac before plunging into the water along with many other contusions to your body. To put it simply, you're in pretty bad shape. You won't be going anywhere tonight except to the fourth floor to be settled in a room, and then only with the assistance of our hospital staff. Comprendez?

"But I can't stay here, doc. My dad…." Jonathan argued while struggling to sit up again before the physician attending him cut off his chance at argument.

"Now listen, you need to lie back and keep still. You still could have some serious injuries that we have yet to discover. You won't be going anywhere tonight except the fourth floor, do you hear me? And if you don't follow my sound advice, Jonathan, then I'll be forced to prescribe a sedative. Understood?"

"But my old man…" Jonathan began again.

"Look, I don't know what happened out there on the docks tonight, but you're my patient and you're safe here. Nothing is going to happen to you."

"It's not me…but Reva and Tammy…"

" So that's what's bothering you…" The young doctor sighed with relief before continuing on. "They're both okay. Tammy is waiting outside, and last I saw, Reva was with Josh in the ambulance bay talking with Frank Cooper. As for your father, I'm not sure what happened to him, but I assuming he's in police custody. According to the paramedic, who brought you in, the pier was swarming with police when you left. No one could have gotten through their heightened security. So relax, okay, and think only of yourself for now and getting better. I don't want to administer any unnecessary medication unless I'm forced too. Your body needs rest, however, to recover, and if you don't comply with my request willingly then I'll need to use something to help you to."

"Dr Bauer?" A voice from the now open door cut into their conversation as one of the ER desk clerks peered into the room. "There's a frantic woman out here claiming to be this boy's mother. She demands to speak with you immediately or she's threatened she'll break these doors down to do so."

"Okay, Connie. Tell her I'll be right out."

"Sure thing." The harried clerk replied.

"That's Reva for you…" Rick Bauer chuckled while muttering under his breath something along the lines of Jonathan perhaps not being the only one in need of a sedative this night."

"My mom can be a little over the top, " Jonathan mumbled as the trauma of this day took hold of him again effectively sapping away what little strength he had remaining and leaving him to sink wearily back towards his pillow for support.

"Yeah, I know." Rick Bauer smiled back, happy to see his young patient at last following his advice . "You rest now, Jonathan, while I go out and try to reassure your mother."

"Good luck…" Came Jonathan's sarcastic, yet sleepy reply before he nodded off.

Turning to his nurse, Rick instructed. " Lillian, continue to check his vitals every fifteen minutes. Let me know immediately if there's any change." Then turning, Rick Bauer exited the emergency room doors as he headed towards the waiting area.

Even looking like a drowned rat, Reva Shayne Lewis's stirred up a kinetic energy which seemed to infuse the usually subdued and somber waiting area at Cedar's Hospital . Noticing Rick Bauer's imminent approach, she charged forward towards the young physician while calling out frantically, "Tell me, Rick…Tell me! How is Jonathan?"

Taking a moment to recover his senses from this initial outburst of energy which was Reva Shayne Lewis, Rick watched as her husband, Josh, and her young niece, Tammy Winslow, rose to join her. Each of their two faces filled with the same concern so visible on Reva's for the injured boy..

"We've managed to stabilize him."

"Thank God!" Reva shouted before venting further the apprehension she still felt, "But all the tubes, the machines, the blood…Will he be okay, Rick? Jonathan is going to recover from this, right?"

"Why don't we take a seat, Reva?" Rick advised, as the group surrounding him let go of some of their pent up fear and anticipation and allowed the doctor to guide them towards a cluster of chairs near the far wall so they could have some more privacy with which to talk.

This brief interruption in the flow of conversation did little to settle Reva's jangled nerves and she reached forward to clasp Rick's outstretched hands tightly within her own before speaking her nervous thoughts. "Tell me my son is going to be okay, Rick!"

"He should be." Rick replied reassuringly.

"Should?" Reva queried, unsatisfied with the response she had been given before repeating, "Should…you mean will, don't you Rick?"

Turning serious blue eyes towards Reva, Rick spoke out. "Jonathan has been through quite an ordeal tonight. Besides the beating he took at his father's hands, he sustained a blunt trauma to the base of his skull. We don't believe he's suffered any permanent damage, but we're waiting on some of the films yet. He does, however, have a concussion, which is serious enough in its own right, and we'll need to keep him here for observation. It's his lungs, however, that I'm most concerned about."

"His lungs?" Reva repeated stunned by the graveness that took hold of Rick's usually serene features.

"Jonathan experienced what we term as near drowning. Effectively he drowned, but was resuscitated by the EMS team. It was a wet drowning, meaning his lungs took in some of the lake water. He might have aspirated some of his own stomach contents as well when he vomited as a result of the resuscitation measures. We're not sure yet of the severity of the hypoxia he's suffered during his exposure to the water. His cognitive functions for now appear normal, but we need to keep a close watch over him. I also noted some pulmonary edema in his lungs along with dysrhythmia when I examined him…"

"Speak English, Rick, please!" Reva replied, flustered by all the medical terminology Rick Bauer was now using. She shook her head in reaction to it while tears filled her crystal blue eyes in response to her lingering fear that she didn't get to Jonathan in time. She had failed her son once again and had allowed Alfred to brutally hurt him once more , perhaps this time fatally.

"There's some swelling in his lungs along with some remaining fluid. We also noted some unusual rhythms in his cardiac function…his heart rate. He's suffering from the lingering effects of hypothermia as well from being in the water, and this could account for his latter condition. We've been pretty successful in our attempts to raise his body temperature back to normal." Rick finished.

"And?" Reva continued.

"It could be just his body's natural reaction to the trauma he sustained tonight, or it could be an early indication pointing to something more serious. We won't know right away….It's a wait and see type of thing, though we have begun routine round of antibiotics to try and ward off any complicating infection that might set in…"

"Infection from his head wound?" Josh at last spoke up.

"No, actually from the lake water he aspirated."

"So you're saying he could get worse?" Reva broke in.

"Possibly, there's always that chance, but we're remaining optimistic for the time being."

"If Nate wasn't dead already, I'd wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the life out of him!" Reva raged.

"Then he's dead?" Rick questioned. "Jonathan has asking about his father…"

"Yes, I killed him." Josh replied gravely.

Noting his friend's shaken response, Rick stated. "I'm sorry, Josh…"

Josh didn't answer as he stood there with his head now bowed as if reliving his own role in this evening's tragic events.

Reva's frantic voice cut into the reluctance of the moment. "I want to see my son! I need to see my son! I have to tell him that Alfred won't hurt him again! I need for him to know that he is safe now !"

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea, Reva. If we could wait until morning to let him know about his father's death? I don't feel he's up to another shock this evening. Could the news keep?"

"Of course, of course!" Reva responded emphatically, "But you will let me see him, won't you, Rick? I'm his mother. He needs to see me. He needs to know I'm here! That I care!

"In a few minutes, Reva. He's resting right now. I'd rather you didn't wake him."

"Of course…" Reva repeated dealing now with her own shock. "I'll just sit beside him incase he wakes up…hold his hand…be with him..."

"Can I see him too?" A forgotten voice at last spoke out.

All eyes turned towards Tammy as Rick answered. "No, Tammy. I'm sorry, immediate family members only for now."

"But?" She began to argue. "I've waited here so long…"

"Perhaps tomorrow when he's stronger, Tammy. " Rick soothed before continuing further, "By the looks of things the three of you have been through hell this night. Why don't you go home, Tammy and rest. I can call Cassie to come get you or perhaps San…"

"I can take her home…." Josh cut in.

"But the police?" Reva interrupted. They still have questions for us. I can't answer another question, Bud. Please…please could you take care of it for me."

Unable to say no to his wife and turning apologetic eyes towards Tammy, Josh made to speak out, but Tammy beat him to it.

"It's okay, Uncle Josh, I'm not going anywhere. Not until I know for sure that Jonathan is going to be okay."

Before anyone could respond to her adamant refusal , a loud crash sounded from the down the hallway followed by a flurry of frenzied activity outside the adjoining treatment rooms as Lillian Raine's unsteady voice boomed over the hospital intercom. "Dr Rick Bauer, Treatment Room 3, Stat!"

_TBC_

_Author's Closing Notes: Well if you've reached this point, then thank you for reading chapter 2. Please let me know what you think of it. Thank you:)_


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